Matthew 4:1-11
1)Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. 2) After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. 3) The tempter came to him and said, "If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread."
4) Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God. 5) Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. 6) "If you are the Son of God," he said, "throw yourself down. For it is written: " 'He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. 7) Jesus answered him, "It is also written: 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.8) Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. 9) "All this I will give you," he said, "if you will bow down and worship me."
10) Jesus said to him, "Away from me, Satan! For it is written: 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.' 11Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.
I am an avid fan of all forms of gospel music. From my early introduction to the traditional sounds of, Thomas Dorsey, Mahalia Jackson, James Cleveland, and the Clark Sisters to the pulsating rhythms of Christian rock bands like BarlowGirl, I am enamored by artists who passionately render the powerful Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. I unashamedly roll the windows down on the two-seater and turn up my radio to the likes of Deitrick, Lecrae, J.R., Tye, Canton, Flame and yes Cross Movement giant, Da’T.R.U.T.H. While perusing the Cross Movement site late one evening, I happened upon a headline that truly pained me: “An Apology from Emanuel L. Lambert, Jr. - Da' T.R.U.T.H.” Therein he stated that he was entering a ministry sabbatical in order to address his marital indiscretions. In the quiet of my call room, I sat back from the computer, staring at his photographed image and printed apology. My heart entered into prayer for restoration of our brother and his family. I was immediately reminded that believers, especially ministers of the Gospel, are under relentless spiritual attack by the evil one. I Corinthians 10 13 reminds us that “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” In today’s lesson we will study our Elder-brother, Jesus Christ and learn that while yes, we all stand on the common ground of temptation, we have victory by the Power of God and His inspired Word. I hate to jump to the end (Matthew 4:11), but how wonderful to know that when we resist the devil using the Word,not only must satan the tempter flee, but God will send us the help that we need to recover! I am too excited about this lesson. Let's go!
A Relatable Savior
Perhaps one of the most amazing things to me about the gift of Jesus, is that He is relatable. As recorded in sacred and historically sound scripture, he was born into a real human family with real human issues. There were very real hurts, tangible joys and irrevocable sorrows. It was God’s will that Jesus would live a life that could serve as a living epistle for how we are to live and face temptation. Hebrews 4:15 encourages us: “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-- yet was without sin.” Our personal situations must not be used to excuse giving in to temptation. For example, when your roommate smokes recreational marijuana and you are having a particularly stressful time at work, this set of circumstances does not excuse your “taking the edge off” by joining in the festivities. Or maybe your husband no longer pays you the attention that “Sam” from the office lavishes upon you. Certainly, having a quick coffee after work is innocent enough. Take comfort in knowing that Jesus too had times of stress, isolation and anxiety. Just read the story of his pre-Earthly ministry temptation here in Matthew 4 and his prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane (See Luke 22, Mark 14) Note that He did not give into even the humanly understandable temptation to forgo the cruelty of the Cross, since His heart is ever directed toward the Will of the Father. The life of our Lord declares “Not my will, but Your Will be done” Jesus, tempted in EVERY manner as we have been, and will be, triumphantly overcame the evil one by submitting His fleshly will to that of the Father as found in His Word, and so can you!
Spiritual triumph marks the path to temptation
Matthew 3: 16) As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting on him. 17) And a voice from heaven said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased."
Can you recall a time that you completed a period of deep consecration, fasting, or prayer where you were certain that God was with you? You seemed to be filled with so much of the Holy Ghost that you felt like a spiritual giant capable of leaping tall buildings in a single bound? You exited this time of spiritual renewal excited about your God encounter, only to find that you were to face to face with greater temptations than you had ever faced before. Not only did God see you on the Holy Ghost mountaintop, the enemy saw you too! The experience of Jesus was quite like this. We see in Matthew chapter 3, that Jesus is audibly announced as the Son of God, having pleased the Father. What higher heights are there than to have had all those standing about hear from Heaven that you are in fact the Son of God? It was surely a glorious day for all who heard the Voice of God! Chapter 3 ends and Chapter 4 opens equally abruptly, with “Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil.” There is no descriptive segue of a great celebration for Jesus perhaps led my John the Baptist or the people at large. No parades marking this present Messiah. Isn’t it interesting the noticeable quiet after the voice of God speaks? After this God encounter, Jesus is lead not directly onto a platform to preach, but into an isolated place where His flesh will grow hungry and weak. The enemy not only preys upon these physical longings for food, he also spoke to His emotions and thoughts with temptations to feed fleshly ego and pride as seen in verse 8: “…the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. 9) "All this I will give you," he said, "if you will bow down and worship me." Recognize that while God has spoken powerfully over one area of your life and you are enjoying the associated victory, the devil is standing with fiery darts aimed carrying any number of new temptations designed to destroy the great work that God has begun in you. He wants us to become obsessed with the cares of this life and pride of life, just as God desires to continue elevating us spiritually. Thank God that according to His word as found in Philippians 1:6 “…I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” Perhaps it is now time to face tougher areas of your Christian walk in order to prepare for higher levels in God. Don’t be afraid of the desert. Your triumph on the mountain has prepared you for the great temptations to come.
Sword Play
When we were kids, my brothers and I would often play sword fighting with sticks. We had heard the words “On guard, touché!” many times on TV and we would match the click-clack of our “swords” with these utterances. “On guard” meant “get ready, I’m coming after you” while touché indicated that one had been “cut” by the opponent. In the Christian life, we are certainly spiritually embattled. We must be not only on guard, but also aware of the touché moments in our lives when our opponent the devil has wounded us with sin and temptation. As believers, know that temptation is coming, and we must be prepared, especially after experiencing high places in God. Ephesians 6 masterfully depicts how a follower of Christ can defeat the enemy by wearing and carrying the appropriate spiritual fighting gear. Verse 17 of that chapter admonishes us to “take on the …sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God.” Every temptation offered to the Lord Jesus in Matthew 4 was renounced by the speaking the written Word. Jesus spoke directly against what the enemy is saying to Him. When satan offers Jesus natural bread, our Lord retorts that 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God. The Word of God protects us from death associated with sin. We grow less concerned with physical hunger and our hearts yearn for the life gained by eating Bread from Heaven. I have found in my own life that physical desires are quenched by simply picking up my Bible and reading. This feeds my spirit man and he grows stronger while my physical desires grow weaker. Remember, what you feed will grow! In verse 5 the devil takes Jesus to the temple, and cunningly tempts Jesus with sacred text to test the grace of God by throwing Himself from a high place toward death in hopes that God will save Him. Jesus fights this ridiculous notion with scripture: 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’ Note in verses 5 and 6 that satan will meet you outside on the same church ground you danced around on during Sunday service. Also, note he, too knows the Word. He will manipulate Biblical truths in order to win the fight. Be on guard! When the enemy tempts Him to defy God and worship satan, the ruler of this world, in exchange for Earthly kingdoms, Jesus declares: "Away from me, Satan! For it is written: 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.'" Again, this mandate to serve God alone can be found throughout Old Testament scripture. To know the Word requires that we study it: Psalm 119:11 “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.” Our best chance for winning spiritual battles starts with wielding the best weapon we have, the sharp and powerful Sword of the Spirit; the irrefutable Word of God!
Dr.’s Orders Even our greatest Gospel teachers, preachers, singers, and rappers alike share with the rest of us this common ground of temptation, but as followers of Christ we glean from His Divine example several keys to being victorious in the face of temptation.
1) Understand that our Lord sympathizes with our situation and that we have victory in Him! Confess your personal point of temptation to Him in prayer then accept His forgiveness and preserving power in your life. You will never be the same in Jesus name!
2) Understand that your spiritual mountaintop experiences are preparing you for places of challenge and temptation. While coming down off the mountain, be led of the Spirit into a quiet place of preparation and reflection. Do not be surprised when the enemy attacks. Know that you must be in the right place (the Will of God) since you got his attention.
3) Arm yourself with the Word of God. Daily study of God’s Word prepares us for the attack of the enemy that will surely come. Keep a journal of those scriptures that empower your walk with God. Read the Book, for in the end you win!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Disabling Your Disability
2 Corinthians 4:7 "We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves."
2 Corinthians 12: 8 "Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
“Do not allow your body to become the dictator of your potential” ~ Myles Munroe
Those who are closest to me know that I often have severe back that that has worsened over the last two years. I often have to ask for low lying items to be picked up for me and I need assistance with carrying even moderately heavy objects. Just getting out of my car can be an excruciating task. After spending months in progressive misery and wolfing down dose after dose of over the counter pain medicines, I finally resolved to go to the doctor earlier this summer. An MRI confirmed a degenerating and slightly bulging disk, as well as two vertebrae compressed secondary to arthritis. My grandmother, sister and maternal aunt all had or presently have the same problem, and I had spent some time trying to ignore the pain of what I already suspected was my issue. After being referred to an orthopedic surgeon, he reminded me that I am too young at this point to consider a risky spine surgery and that I should begin my healing process with physical therapy and weight loss. As I sat in his office, on a particularly painful day, it occurred to me that in order to overcome my disabling back pain, I would have to take a whole new approach to the problem. Certainly I would remain prayerful for a divine healing, but God let me know that this would be a process for me. There would be no instantaneous fix. No magical pill. No palliating procedure. In order to overcome my physical limitations, I was going to have to move forward all the while drawing on the enabling power of the Holy Spirit in this my “pre-miracle” phase. Nothing is too hard for God and He finishes what He starts! “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. “ (Philippians 1:6) We rejoice with great expectation of total Divine healing!
Speak the Word!
God wants us to lean and depend on Him both before and after we receive healing and we must encourage ourselves through His Holy Word. Our faith grows stronger as we pray the Word of God for ourselves. Romans 10:17 says it best: “So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” A poor medical diagnosis cannot negate the power of the Word of God in your life. We will not allow physical disability to dictate our Godly potential. There is simply too much Kingdom work to do and too much abundant life to life! Speak the Word! “My pain will not depress me, for the joy of the Lord is my strength (Nehemiah 8:10)!” “Pain will not deter me from going to the house of God to worship, for I too will dwell in the house of the Lord forever (Psalm 23:6).” “I will not focus on my present physical abilities since I am promised in the Word of God that we “…wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies he has promised us. (Romans 8:23). “ Pray prayers of faith that are solidly rooted in the written promises of our Lord.
Hidden Treasure
Recall that we are so much more than our bodies! We understand that “We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.” (2 Corinthians 4:7) The enemy will certainly use our supposed limitations to try and hinder the light of God in us from penetrating the darkness of this world. Know that your potential impact in the Kingdom of God is a very real threat to the kingdom of darkness. 2 Corinthians 4:16 also encourages us: “That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day.” Despite what you feel like, as a believer, you grow stronger day by day! Consistent communion with the Holy Spirit by prayer and reading of the Word allows us to bear temporary pain with the understanding that our inner man gains new vigor with each moment we spend gleaning from the hidden treasures of God within.
Grace; It's All You Need
The great apostle Paul, shares with us in 2 Corinthians chapter 12, that he too suffered some sort of physical condition. He describes a “thorn in the flesh” and states that he prayed three times for God to deliver him from it. The Lord Jesus responds in verse 9: “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” By the grace of God, our limitations are converted to opportunities for God to make manifest His glory upon the Earth. While I do not enjoy hurting on a daily basis, I relish the fact that God can use my weakness to strengthen others and that a treasure trove of potential Kingdom impact resides in me. When God elevates and sustains us in spite of our limitations He is truly glorified and the full power of Christ can work through us (2 Corinthians 2:9). When we are weak, He is made strong in our lives. Thank You Lord for your amazing grace!
We're in this thing together
Perhaps you do not have a physical disability, and yet you suffer the crippling effects of a broken heart, wounded spirit and clouded thoughts. Maybe you are emotionally bent and bowed in the wake of past relationships, lost opportunities, and internal struggles. Others, like me battle physical conditions. Whatever the case may be, know that God sees your weaknesses. He made you and knows all about you. The ache in your body, soul, or spirit is not a news flash to the Lord. God desires that we embrace the understanding that His grace is sufficient for us during our healing process and that we too have access to “great power” (2 Corinthians 4:7) through Christ! Everyone has pain in this life. We must never forget to lift one another's needs to the Father in prayer.
Dr.’s Orders: Today's orders are simple.
-Pray that God will strengthen your ailing family, friends, and co-workers according to His ever sufficient grace.
-Continue to pray God's promises of healing for your own life. --Recognize that your current situation is an opportunity for God to get glory from your life.
Your healing may be a process, but God will certainly strengthen you along the journey. Disable your disability in Jesus' name!
2 Corinthians 12: 8 "Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
“Do not allow your body to become the dictator of your potential” ~ Myles Munroe
Those who are closest to me know that I often have severe back that that has worsened over the last two years. I often have to ask for low lying items to be picked up for me and I need assistance with carrying even moderately heavy objects. Just getting out of my car can be an excruciating task. After spending months in progressive misery and wolfing down dose after dose of over the counter pain medicines, I finally resolved to go to the doctor earlier this summer. An MRI confirmed a degenerating and slightly bulging disk, as well as two vertebrae compressed secondary to arthritis. My grandmother, sister and maternal aunt all had or presently have the same problem, and I had spent some time trying to ignore the pain of what I already suspected was my issue. After being referred to an orthopedic surgeon, he reminded me that I am too young at this point to consider a risky spine surgery and that I should begin my healing process with physical therapy and weight loss. As I sat in his office, on a particularly painful day, it occurred to me that in order to overcome my disabling back pain, I would have to take a whole new approach to the problem. Certainly I would remain prayerful for a divine healing, but God let me know that this would be a process for me. There would be no instantaneous fix. No magical pill. No palliating procedure. In order to overcome my physical limitations, I was going to have to move forward all the while drawing on the enabling power of the Holy Spirit in this my “pre-miracle” phase. Nothing is too hard for God and He finishes what He starts! “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. “ (Philippians 1:6) We rejoice with great expectation of total Divine healing!
Speak the Word!
God wants us to lean and depend on Him both before and after we receive healing and we must encourage ourselves through His Holy Word. Our faith grows stronger as we pray the Word of God for ourselves. Romans 10:17 says it best: “So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” A poor medical diagnosis cannot negate the power of the Word of God in your life. We will not allow physical disability to dictate our Godly potential. There is simply too much Kingdom work to do and too much abundant life to life! Speak the Word! “My pain will not depress me, for the joy of the Lord is my strength (Nehemiah 8:10)!” “Pain will not deter me from going to the house of God to worship, for I too will dwell in the house of the Lord forever (Psalm 23:6).” “I will not focus on my present physical abilities since I am promised in the Word of God that we “…wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies he has promised us. (Romans 8:23). “ Pray prayers of faith that are solidly rooted in the written promises of our Lord.
Hidden Treasure
Recall that we are so much more than our bodies! We understand that “We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.” (2 Corinthians 4:7) The enemy will certainly use our supposed limitations to try and hinder the light of God in us from penetrating the darkness of this world. Know that your potential impact in the Kingdom of God is a very real threat to the kingdom of darkness. 2 Corinthians 4:16 also encourages us: “That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day.” Despite what you feel like, as a believer, you grow stronger day by day! Consistent communion with the Holy Spirit by prayer and reading of the Word allows us to bear temporary pain with the understanding that our inner man gains new vigor with each moment we spend gleaning from the hidden treasures of God within.
Grace; It's All You Need
The great apostle Paul, shares with us in 2 Corinthians chapter 12, that he too suffered some sort of physical condition. He describes a “thorn in the flesh” and states that he prayed three times for God to deliver him from it. The Lord Jesus responds in verse 9: “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” By the grace of God, our limitations are converted to opportunities for God to make manifest His glory upon the Earth. While I do not enjoy hurting on a daily basis, I relish the fact that God can use my weakness to strengthen others and that a treasure trove of potential Kingdom impact resides in me. When God elevates and sustains us in spite of our limitations He is truly glorified and the full power of Christ can work through us (2 Corinthians 2:9). When we are weak, He is made strong in our lives. Thank You Lord for your amazing grace!
We're in this thing together
Perhaps you do not have a physical disability, and yet you suffer the crippling effects of a broken heart, wounded spirit and clouded thoughts. Maybe you are emotionally bent and bowed in the wake of past relationships, lost opportunities, and internal struggles. Others, like me battle physical conditions. Whatever the case may be, know that God sees your weaknesses. He made you and knows all about you. The ache in your body, soul, or spirit is not a news flash to the Lord. God desires that we embrace the understanding that His grace is sufficient for us during our healing process and that we too have access to “great power” (2 Corinthians 4:7) through Christ! Everyone has pain in this life. We must never forget to lift one another's needs to the Father in prayer.
Dr.’s Orders: Today's orders are simple.
-Pray that God will strengthen your ailing family, friends, and co-workers according to His ever sufficient grace.
-Continue to pray God's promises of healing for your own life. --Recognize that your current situation is an opportunity for God to get glory from your life.
Your healing may be a process, but God will certainly strengthen you along the journey. Disable your disability in Jesus' name!
Friday, December 4, 2009
Lost in Translation
Ephesians 4: 25) Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26) "In your anger do not sin” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27) and do not give the devil a foothold.
29) Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30) And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31) Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32) Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
God is a God of relationships. From the creation of man and the first family unit, to the sacrifice of His son to re-establish our relationship to Himself, God has repeatedly demonstrated to us the value of positive relationships. Effective communication can be one of the most difficult aspects of relationships, especially new ones. Just before Thanksgiving, we spent considerable time studying prayer, which is simply communication with God. Communication is a must for healthy relationships, families and churches. Poor communication results in volatile, stagnant, and superficial relationships bound to crumble beneath the weight of real life experience. This is not the will of God for any of us! Time certainly does fly, and I look forward to celebrating this first year of dating my Johnathan. I can’t help but chuckle to myself when reflecting on the earliest communications we shared. More than a few times text messages, voicemails and emails were misinterpreted causing us to hurry to fix hurt feelings and address emotions. Some of what we said in those early days was simply lost in translation as we were learning each other’s unique ways of communicating. Sure there were the typical light-hearted ethereal talks typically found in the early dating process. We chatted happily carefree whilst along the beach, over shared meals and while sitting in gridlocked L.A. traffic. As our relationship evolved, there have been instances of simple misunderstanding that are easily resolved with few lines of conversation, while at other time truly tough issues arise. While my significant other prefers a direct approach and full disclosure, I feel more secure with a more subtle approach in discussing difficult topics. It was not unusual for me to completely withdraw for some time “to think” only to return to the table for a painfully protracted “play by play” of my thought process. His patience with my approach amazes me and I am making concerted efforts to be a more effective communicator in this and other relationships. James 1:5 reminds us that “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all [men] liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” I am encouraged to pursue the wisdom of God in all things! The power of life and death truly is in the tongue (Proverbs 18:21) and we must wisely use Spirit led communication to bring life to our relationships. I want to highlight several keys to improved communication, including 1) listening, 2) thinking, 3) reframing, and 4) responding (Terminology found @ elitecoachingalliance.com). It is the will of God that our relationships; whether personal, familial, ministerial or professional are holy, healthy, and reflective of God’s grace at all times.
Listen Up!
Our communication with one another must be grounded in love and real love listens! 1 Corinthians 13: 5 reminds us that love “…is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” This is similar to what we see in Ephesians 4:25 as we are told to celebrate the truth with our friends. Conversations couched in love seek to arrive upon the truth, not accuse and catch one another in a lie. Often times we are so anxious for our turn to speak, find a “hole” in the other person’s story, etc, that we fail to listen in love with an open heart. Actively listening in love allows the truth of what the other person is saying to be revealed, even if hidden beneath anger, frustration and anxiety. Give people the opportunity to unburden themselves in such a way that anger can be addressed and resolved, disallowing the devil any “foothold” on the relationship (v. 27). Be an active listener; practice “listening” to the person’s body language, tone and inflections as well as the words they are saying. Listen prayerfully, asking the Holy Spirit to reveal to you what is really being said, so that you may respond appropriately.
Think about it.
James 1 “19) My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20) for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” Effective communication is marked by listening, deliberate thought and proper control of anger. While listening in a spirit of love, you should take the time to think maturely before speaking. 1 Corinthians 13: 11 highlights the truth that operating in love requires Christian maturity; “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.” I consider myself to be relatively mature in many areas, yet I can honestly say that I am not all that I should be when it comes to maturity in communication. I recall having had a long day at work and was leaving my research lab in more than a huff. My phone rang and it was my Johnathan. I immediately began to detail my crazy day and the fact that I was famished. As he started in to say that he was looking for dinner on his side of town, I hastily interrupted declaring that I did not mind eating by myself and that I would “throw something together.” Immediately I knew that the silence on the other end was shock at my tension filled response. He quietly finished the sentence that yes, he was in the process of finding dinner when I called, but that he was more than happy to drive over and have dinner with me. I felt terrible for being so short and rude with my friend. Sure I had had a rough day, but it was immature to fail to listen and speak prior to truly thinking through what had been uttered, especially mid sentence! As mature believers, we cannot allow misplaced emotions and “childish ways” to prohibit us from engaging in effective communication. Instead of jumping in to speak prematurely, we should pause to ponder what the other person is saying as well as what the Holy Spirit desires to speak into the situation. Allow Him the space to give you a clear understanding of what is truly being said. Proverbs 14:29 speaks to this: “People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness.” We are reminded in our text to “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” (Ephesians 4:31) Taking the time to think, control anger and submit to the leading of the Holy Spirit, can prevent the improper escalation of emotions and the preservation of wholesome relationships.
Speak up!
I love the movie “The Bucket List” and even more so John Mayer’s song found in the film’s musical score; “Say What You Need To Say”. Many of us speak prematurely in some situations while in others we fail to say what needs to be said in the proper way. Anthony Mullins, a Christian life coach who’s website was cited earlier, teaches that listening and thinking should be followed by reframing and responding. To reframe a conversation is to place yourself in the other person’s shoes. Really try to understand where people are coming from. Repeat out loud what was said in your own voice in a sincere attempt to gain needed perspective. Only after we have listened, reflected and reframed the conversation should we speak. Ephesians 4 reminds us: 29) Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." What we say should serve to do more than relieve our own internal tensions. Godly communication aims to build up the hearer, restore wounded relationships and push others closer to God. Our Lord admonishes us in Matthew 12:36 “…You must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak. 37 The words you say will either acquit you or condemn you.” God will not allow us to use the excuses of anger, immaturity, frustration or personal hurt for saying harmful things worthy of condemnation. Listen carefully. Think through the conversation. Consider the other person’s perspective as well as the implications of your words. Dare to speak with love and clarity through the empowerment of the Holy Spirit. Say what you need to say, and be sure to do so in love.
Dr.’s Orders
Recall a past instance of miscommunication. Identify ways in which the miscommunication could have been avoided.
Pray that the Holy Spirit will lead you in future communication to listen in love, think with clarity, be sensitive to other people’s perspective and speak in such a way that strengthens personal, family and work relationships.
29) Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30) And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31) Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32) Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
God is a God of relationships. From the creation of man and the first family unit, to the sacrifice of His son to re-establish our relationship to Himself, God has repeatedly demonstrated to us the value of positive relationships. Effective communication can be one of the most difficult aspects of relationships, especially new ones. Just before Thanksgiving, we spent considerable time studying prayer, which is simply communication with God. Communication is a must for healthy relationships, families and churches. Poor communication results in volatile, stagnant, and superficial relationships bound to crumble beneath the weight of real life experience. This is not the will of God for any of us! Time certainly does fly, and I look forward to celebrating this first year of dating my Johnathan. I can’t help but chuckle to myself when reflecting on the earliest communications we shared. More than a few times text messages, voicemails and emails were misinterpreted causing us to hurry to fix hurt feelings and address emotions. Some of what we said in those early days was simply lost in translation as we were learning each other’s unique ways of communicating. Sure there were the typical light-hearted ethereal talks typically found in the early dating process. We chatted happily carefree whilst along the beach, over shared meals and while sitting in gridlocked L.A. traffic. As our relationship evolved, there have been instances of simple misunderstanding that are easily resolved with few lines of conversation, while at other time truly tough issues arise. While my significant other prefers a direct approach and full disclosure, I feel more secure with a more subtle approach in discussing difficult topics. It was not unusual for me to completely withdraw for some time “to think” only to return to the table for a painfully protracted “play by play” of my thought process. His patience with my approach amazes me and I am making concerted efforts to be a more effective communicator in this and other relationships. James 1:5 reminds us that “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all [men] liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” I am encouraged to pursue the wisdom of God in all things! The power of life and death truly is in the tongue (Proverbs 18:21) and we must wisely use Spirit led communication to bring life to our relationships. I want to highlight several keys to improved communication, including 1) listening, 2) thinking, 3) reframing, and 4) responding (Terminology found @ elitecoachingalliance.com). It is the will of God that our relationships; whether personal, familial, ministerial or professional are holy, healthy, and reflective of God’s grace at all times.
Listen Up!
Our communication with one another must be grounded in love and real love listens! 1 Corinthians 13: 5 reminds us that love “…is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” This is similar to what we see in Ephesians 4:25 as we are told to celebrate the truth with our friends. Conversations couched in love seek to arrive upon the truth, not accuse and catch one another in a lie. Often times we are so anxious for our turn to speak, find a “hole” in the other person’s story, etc, that we fail to listen in love with an open heart. Actively listening in love allows the truth of what the other person is saying to be revealed, even if hidden beneath anger, frustration and anxiety. Give people the opportunity to unburden themselves in such a way that anger can be addressed and resolved, disallowing the devil any “foothold” on the relationship (v. 27). Be an active listener; practice “listening” to the person’s body language, tone and inflections as well as the words they are saying. Listen prayerfully, asking the Holy Spirit to reveal to you what is really being said, so that you may respond appropriately.
Think about it.
James 1 “19) My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20) for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” Effective communication is marked by listening, deliberate thought and proper control of anger. While listening in a spirit of love, you should take the time to think maturely before speaking. 1 Corinthians 13: 11 highlights the truth that operating in love requires Christian maturity; “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.” I consider myself to be relatively mature in many areas, yet I can honestly say that I am not all that I should be when it comes to maturity in communication. I recall having had a long day at work and was leaving my research lab in more than a huff. My phone rang and it was my Johnathan. I immediately began to detail my crazy day and the fact that I was famished. As he started in to say that he was looking for dinner on his side of town, I hastily interrupted declaring that I did not mind eating by myself and that I would “throw something together.” Immediately I knew that the silence on the other end was shock at my tension filled response. He quietly finished the sentence that yes, he was in the process of finding dinner when I called, but that he was more than happy to drive over and have dinner with me. I felt terrible for being so short and rude with my friend. Sure I had had a rough day, but it was immature to fail to listen and speak prior to truly thinking through what had been uttered, especially mid sentence! As mature believers, we cannot allow misplaced emotions and “childish ways” to prohibit us from engaging in effective communication. Instead of jumping in to speak prematurely, we should pause to ponder what the other person is saying as well as what the Holy Spirit desires to speak into the situation. Allow Him the space to give you a clear understanding of what is truly being said. Proverbs 14:29 speaks to this: “People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness.” We are reminded in our text to “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” (Ephesians 4:31) Taking the time to think, control anger and submit to the leading of the Holy Spirit, can prevent the improper escalation of emotions and the preservation of wholesome relationships.
Speak up!
I love the movie “The Bucket List” and even more so John Mayer’s song found in the film’s musical score; “Say What You Need To Say”. Many of us speak prematurely in some situations while in others we fail to say what needs to be said in the proper way. Anthony Mullins, a Christian life coach who’s website was cited earlier, teaches that listening and thinking should be followed by reframing and responding. To reframe a conversation is to place yourself in the other person’s shoes. Really try to understand where people are coming from. Repeat out loud what was said in your own voice in a sincere attempt to gain needed perspective. Only after we have listened, reflected and reframed the conversation should we speak. Ephesians 4 reminds us: 29) Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." What we say should serve to do more than relieve our own internal tensions. Godly communication aims to build up the hearer, restore wounded relationships and push others closer to God. Our Lord admonishes us in Matthew 12:36 “…You must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak. 37 The words you say will either acquit you or condemn you.” God will not allow us to use the excuses of anger, immaturity, frustration or personal hurt for saying harmful things worthy of condemnation. Listen carefully. Think through the conversation. Consider the other person’s perspective as well as the implications of your words. Dare to speak with love and clarity through the empowerment of the Holy Spirit. Say what you need to say, and be sure to do so in love.
Dr.’s Orders
Recall a past instance of miscommunication. Identify ways in which the miscommunication could have been avoided.
Pray that the Holy Spirit will lead you in future communication to listen in love, think with clarity, be sensitive to other people’s perspective and speak in such a way that strengthens personal, family and work relationships.
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